Exogenesis by Peco Gaskovski

Author:Peco Gaskovski [AUTHOR, FIRST]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Spirituality & Religion
ISBN: 1642292749
Publisher: Ignatius Press
Published: 2023-05-02T00:00:00+00:00

14

Maelin stood sideways in her condo’s bathroom mirror with a hand on her belly, thinking back to what it was like to carry a baby inside her body. A body birth—it was hard to believe she’d gone through that. The memories of the pregnancy would not come clearly, though. Strange how the flashbacks could be so vivid, but now, despite a deliberate effort to remember, all she got were faded impressions.

She recalled being constantly sick the first few months and puking miserably into a tin bucket. She recalled the long painful silences between her and Arek as their relationship deteriorated. She recalled the insects creeping through the planks of the cabin on summer nights seeking the lantern light, and the cold drafts wandering freely through the place in the winter. The metal frame of her bed creaked with every shift and turn of her nauseated body, and the mattress springs poked at her back. The view through her window was at a lone tree branch that bobbed in the breeze, though on the windiest days it leaned over and scratched restlessly at the rooftop. The months of nausea and sickness gave way to leg cramps and pelvic pain, but most of all to a growing fear. That’s what she remembered more than anything: fear. A fear of the child growing inside her; a fear she might want to keep it, might love it; a fear it was a massive parasite, wriggling and punching and kicking in her stomach, threatening to rip her apart.

A fear, now, it was Patrik Whitsun.

It should not matter. Why was she making it matter? Why was she taking risks? Gidwyn could be trusted, but this thing she was asking was prohibited.

Stefano appeared in the bathroom mirror. “Oh,” Maelin said, startled. “I didn’t hear you come home.”

He wore a blue-and-orange work shirt, the letters LCW—for Lantua City Waterworks—stitched on the collar points like interlocking pipes. He looked tired. Turning from the mirror, she reached up and touched his jaw, which was solid and sandpapered with end-of-day stubble. She suddenly found comfort in his presence and in the thought of raising a child with him, and felt ashamed. Why was she so preoccupied with Whitsun and her past? Her real life was here, with Stefano. Stefano was committed to her. He was committed to their future. He deserves the same from you. Why aren’t you giving it to him?

He grabbed her wrist. She gasped in pain.

“You’re hurting me! Stefano!”

He released her with a shove. She fell against the counter.

“You lied to me, Maelin! Where did you go the other night?”

She stumbled past him into the bedroom. There was an Eye here. The bathroom was the only room without an Eye. He could not assault her here without being seen, without losing points. But he had never hurt her before. Never raised a hand.

“Where did you go!” he shouted.

She knew what he meant. The night she went to Arek’s house. She had said only that she had gone to the E-dome, but somehow he had found out it was a lie.

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